Finding a sincere person is difficult. We are not always ready to share our innermost feelings and do not show a lot of emotions. People have a right for little secrets, but problems begin when we try to deceive ourselves. One’s mind and heart conflict with one another, and harmony disappears.
Negative emotions and lying to oneself are harmful to one’s health.
Every person has self-talk from time to time. Although others do not hear us, slyness in front of our “self” can lead to serious disagreement. A person owes a grudge; complexes cultivate issues, low self-esteem, and makes a mess out of psychological health. Negative emotions can provoke apathy and prolonged depression. When there is an imbalance between inner mood and behavior, a person begins to self-chastise. However, not always we can reject unnecessary emotions and admit that the real cause of failure lies within ourselves. It is easier for people to lie to themselves than to see the truth. In this case, our emotions are positive concerning ourselves, because we blame others and circumstances for our failures. People who lie to themselves are accustomed to fleeing from reality and embellishing reality — the ability to be true leaves an imprint on all spheres of life. A person has to leave the comfort zone, but this is the only way to improve his life.
Where to begin?
It is difficult to stop lying to yourself if you continue to philosophize and not notice the self-evident truths. First of all, you need to recognize the problems and identify their shortcomings. This process can cause negative emotions, but it will not work out otherwise. Write down everything you want to change point by point, but opposite each offers a solution to the problem. Talk to your inner self, ask yourself those questions that you were previously afraid to answer. Psychologists advise to do a simple experiment – record all the answers, and after a week once again enter into a dialogue with you “self.” After comparing the responses, you will appreciate how much you have advanced and what you should still work. If you want to stop lying to yourself, you need to develop self-control. Teach yourself to notice your inaccuracies and honestly admit to flaws. It will help you to take responsibility and change your life.
Do not give simple answers to difficult questions.
If you want to be extremely honest with yourself, you cannot leave questions unanswered. However, superficial judgments will not help you change your thoughts and emotions. Insight makes it to where a normal state of things is no longer evident. Hasty responses can make life easier, but often they are far from the truth. The harsh reality destroys cloud-castles and changes our emotions, forcing us to admit mistakes. It entails a crisis of conscience, which makes it possible to overestimate life. After such shocks, we begin to understand why it is so important, to tell the truth to oneself.
Realize true emotions
People often condemn themselves for emotions. Sometimes it is complicated to accept your feelings, and it is easier to deceive yourself and believe that you always experienced only balanced emotions. It is necessary to learn to accept any of your feelings, and then the desire to lie to your inner “self” will disappear. It is essential to listen to yourself, to treat feelings with respect, even if they bring negative emotions. A man who denies his spiritual impulses is half-dead. If you do not respect your opinions, others will not reckon with them either.
Emotions of a person: turn off the mechanism of self-defense
Emotions of a person who wants to meet other people’s expectations are contradictory. Our bodies include a mechanism of self-defense. Allow yourself to be yourself, to preserve your individuality. As soon as you try to adapt to someone, immediately remember your interests. Do not make excuses and do not be evil, admit your imperfection and work on yourself. One more thing is the complete denial of different opinions besides one’s own. Unwillingness to hear others is another symptom of lying to ourselves. A person hides his emotions and goes “into deaf self-defense,” fearing of destroying his ghostly world.
Be realistic about your abilities.
A common type of lie to oneself is the reassessment of one’s capabilities. A person takes unreasonable tasks he lacks professionalism. As a result, he loses the trust of others, his reputation suffers. Write down your weaknesses on paper; evaluate your professional skills on a five-point scale. Think about how you can improve your skills, emphasize strengths. Acknowledge that your abilities are limited and decide how you will improve them. When a person is not satisfied with his life, but he is not ready to change anything, he begins to live with illusory dreams. He is lying to himself that everything will work out, now is not the right time for decisive action, you need to wait. Such self-deception only exacerbates the situation – we dream about things for which we need to make an effort but do nothing.
Right criteria or lying to ourselves?
When we are not satisfied with something but continue to convince ourselves that it cannot be any other way; it is time to hold an internal dialogue with our “self.” Why are you trying to persuade yourself that everything is going according to the plan? Perhaps a specific task seems too difficult or irrelevant to you? Think about why the situation makes it to where you feel negative emotions. If you answer your main questions honestly, you will understand where to go next. When a person is honest with oneself, s/he is based on correct criteria, and not on illusory illusiveness. Therefore, s/he adequately assesses his capabilities and correctly manages resources. A person’s emotions, when he lies to himself, prevent himself from sensibly looking at what is happening, because of which all his undertakings fail. If you want to live in harmony with yourself, you need to accept yourself, your needs, desires, and interests. Do not give up your uniqueness for the sake of illusion or apparent benefits.
Melisa Marzett is a marketing specialist with more than five years of experience in copy-writing. She is currently working for Royal Editing Editors and follows the latest tendencies in all the spheres of life. She likes helping people, and her life motto is to treat people the way you want them to treat you.
Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list. How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.